• Riya Jadhav

SAY IT OUT LOUD: The Importance of Healthy Emotional Communication




From babyhood to adulthood-these statements like below have always been constant:

"It's okay, calm down"

"It's not a big deal bro"

"Why are you exaggerating"

"dude! stop being so warm-hearted- this is a rough world"

"Why are you so happy! it's not that big of an accomplishment"

"bruh!you such a sobbing baby"

Etc.

I'm very positive,

Every one of us at least once in our lifetime, has come across these statements.

Right?

Every time you feel like expressing yourself, the primary thought that strikes you is 'whom should I express to' or 'will the other person understand' or the most relatable one is 'will I get judged or misinterpreted by others'

And it's natural, why would someone not think like this when they've seen and encountered other people assessing and commenting on this kind of behavior i.e so-called 'sensitive behavior'.

Our society regrettably believes that an expressive person is weak and vulnerable and not compatible with important tasks or conversations because according to them-emotions can override one's opinions and decisions.

Is that so?

You can't blame it on anyone it's just how we are evolving and growing,

The older this earth gets, the more inferior are everyone's empathetic abilities

People whom you decide to open up might worsen your state by saying stuff like mentioned in the start.

So this article is not only for people who are facing complexities in opening up or having emotional communications but also for those who probably unnoticeably make the sufferers more vulnerable than they already are.

let's take a QnA approach,

I'll put up few questions here!and I'll empty down my thoughts and opinions about it!

I want you guys to take a paper and pen and kick-start your thinking as you progressively read it and don't forget to give your versions of answers in the comment section below.

Also read: https://www.phrazis.com/post/6-fascinating-tips-to-become-emotionally-strong-person

DESCRIBE EMOTIONS IN ONE WORD?

I'll describe it as - Kaju katli ("cashew slice")

because,

They are NOT GOOD NOR BAD!

This finger-licking Indian dessert delights every sweet tooth on this planet yeah?

but wait

If you overeat it, you are going to significantly increase the risk of diabetes and then you are going to see yourself getting tied up to the hospital for god knows how long!

but if you don't eat it your soul and heart and every fracking thing in your body is going to be upset :{ (sarcastic)

everything in proper measure is Safe!

just like Kaju katli.

so you see.

emotions are very crucial to reveal -let it be personal or professional.

Being apathetic towards everything will slide a mountain of judgments over your head! which will crumble you from the inside out and probably will lead to depression, anxiety, and other grave mental issues.


It's not possible to live an EMOTIONLESS LIFE!
You are a mammal and not a Invertebrate.bruhh

So if you are not revealing them, that indicates you are stagging it up.

Which is not advisable at all.

I'm not stating this- but doctors are.

Emotions are what you inherit it's in your damn blood!

it's not bad nor good they are just EMOTIONS.

so upgrade your interpersonal skills, learn to express more, show your discomfort, present your opinions, and let others know how you feel

and most important one that we all undervalue is



UNDERSTANDING MORE- BE A EMPATHETIC CUTIE.


WHY EXPRESSING EMOTIONS ARE IMPORTANT?

let's talk science,

According to researchers, when you stop expressing, your brain will start going on to fight or flight state,

In layman words, your brain will start getting upset, just like your heart does when you don't get Kaju katli.

(enough of Kaju katli, replace it with your favorite dessert for better perception :} )


Being in sync with your emotions will automatically bring out your character and emotional intelligence out in open because unless you don't open up no one's is going to recognize you for what you truly are.

Expressing about how you feel will help people to understand you more accurately.

The first step to follow is accepting the way you are!

Bad habits can be changed, broken hearts or bones can be fixed, dirty stuff can be trashed.

So JUST DO IT! and don't care too much about how others will perceive you.


HOW TO EXPRESS MORE?

Easy! make yourself the most empathetic person anyone can ever meet.

you can't express yourself in front of ANYONE!

Right?

Try to understand and speculate how the other person is, know their mindset, study their motive. if you truly feel he/she is genuine go for it!

uncover yourself.

okay, that became poetic, anyways


This is suitable when private stuffs are involved.

But,

what about professional life?

well there you got to maintain as you know your boundaries, don't shoot your emotional balls at people who you are less knowledgeable off or the ones who are strictly confined to only the professional sphere in your superiority list.

Learn to keep a margin between your emotional and professional life.

Showcase your interpersonal skills like a pro by keeping the following things in mind:

  1. Self-confidence is to be built

  2. Work ethics and etiquette should be followed

  3. Public relations and management should be practiced

  4. Respect everyone around

  5. Be equally open to BOTH negative and positive feed-backs

  6. Proper body language is the key

  7. Teamwork helps you to get more engaged

  8. Be a good listener

and one more important thing

9. Stop battling with problems you cannot change/control.

AND TRY YOUR BEST NOT TO OVERTHINK.

The more you conceal your feelings and emotions more the fire flares inside and its no one's loss but yours!


WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T EXPRESS YOURSELF?

According to me,

when you choose to secrete your feelings under that straight face.

you tend to lose bonds in your way.

Conversations are the roots of healthy relationships. When you express how you feel (in an appropriate manner), intricacies are resolved, relationship problems get settled, and life gets way easier. Besides, you will like your life better because you’re not holding on to unhealed or disturbing feelings anymore. Also, this will help others to understand you in more better way.

keeping back will affect your mental health, it will slowly make you diabolical and you will be stuck with chaotic, turbulent, unfulfilled feelings which are noxious, and in the long turn, it will consume you entirely.

We all want someone in our lives who stays forever in our both good and bad times-let it be your friend, lover, or your family. No one wishes for toxicity to take power but sometimes when situations are tangled, things take a ruthless turn which is involuntary.

understand that everything can be somewhat solved, everything can go back to tolerable situations, all you have to do is let everything out and stop holding on to your feelings.

FINALLY,

HOW YOU SHOULD HELP SOMEONE TO EXPRESS MORE!

let's take a psychological turn,

we all know someone whose signature words are

"I don't want to talk about it"

"no that's okay, do whatever you feel is right"

'hmm'

'okay'

'fine'

'yeah, sure'

Annoying right??

I know,

few people sometimes act so weird, as if there is no vocabulary left inside their brain other than such one-word replies.

Talking none or listening less can very easily high-jack any sound relationship and exhaust it to the core.


what you can do to open up the person who is enclosed in a close box is:

  1. For starters, start having wholesome debates with that person.

  2. Maybe start with something that interests him/her.

  3. You be the open book first! seeing you opening up about yourself will psychologically drive the other person to at least feel comfortable around you and probably, there is a chance that they will consider approaching you.

  4. Be understanding, contain your anger or rather angry-ish tone, and be more empathetic,

  5. Avoid using words that can make the situation worse.

  6. Try not to offend (you are not a stand-up artist)

  7. Speak in ways that promote positivity, kindness, and respect.

  8. Be patient and lastly

  9. Don't concern yourself too much: Accept them the way they are, focus on intentions, and react accordingly. Its not mandatory that everything they say should be 100% consistent with your opinions.

In conclusion i will just quote,

HONOURING OTHERS INTENTIONS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON!


lastly,

Filling the gaps and cracks in the relationship is not impossible,

It's never late!

All you need is a squeeze of willingness to do so!

Taking steps is what's going to give you expected outcomes both as a non-expressive member or the contrasting kind.

So what are you waiting for??




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