Never say these 7 things to someone who's depressed in life
There are so many people who have it much worse than you, what more do you want at life?
A completely complex disease whose roots are yet unknown to mankind. What triggers it?
Our very own mind.
Abuse, medications, illness, deaths, failures, routines so many things that trigger this dooming sensation.
You never know what a person is going through, what kind of battles are they fighting.
Each and every person is brave enough to face the demons, again and again, hoping the next time they can annihilate them. Even if you are trying to stand up to them, you are brave too!
Depression is not something that can be cured by light-hearted half meant words.
These statements are numerous, but do they have an end?
Change the words, they still stay the same. Half-hearted words.
The key here is to be considerate, be kind.
Let them open up!
Communication, a meaningful at that, can open the doors to multiple universes of meaningful friendships or relationships.
Also Read: https://www.phrazis.com/post/prominent-ways-to-surge-your-will-power-to-achieve-larger-goals
Sometimes people feel ashamed about what they go through, they think that these are such trivial things but they do make me feel lost if I open up to someone will they make fun of me and poke me or would they be understanding.
The anxiety of someone not understanding what you intend to say is sickening. You get this gut-wrenching helpless feeling and feel claustrophobic.
You feel like you are in a box room and the handle to the door is slowly vanishing as you lose control of the situation.
So sometimes people might be not all ready to tell you about the vanishing handle, sometimes they just need to catch their breaths and poke a hole in the wall and let the air in and regain some control.
They would open up to you once they know that they can trust you, that you wouldn’t mock them, that you wouldn’t judge them based on the intensity of the situations.
Since the person that matters to you most is feeling trapped up in a box, even a faint ‘ I am there for you’ will suffice.
Loneliness is such a vicious snare that will stick on to you strong. To obliterate that feeling, help them with empathetic listening and constant reassurances that even if they can’t poke a hole in the wall, you would come with the strongest axe and destroy the walls of doom if they just hint you to do so.
Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it seems that many hugs are better than not enough.
The immediate and long-term effects on your brains aside, hugs also have seemingly miraculous effects on your bodily health, like increased immunity and better heart health. Many experts believe, hugs are an essential part of being human and a lack of optimal amount of human touch can even mess with your chance of survival.
Hugs release happy hormones and diminish stress and anxiety, what more reasons do we need to give out free hugs to people.
As mentioned above you may never know what people need, or when they need them. Be the last one to leave from the hug.
Don’t be dismissal
Never tell them when they open up to you, the following dialogues:-
“But you don’t look depressed!”
“It's just a phase”
“It's just in your head”
“It's not that bad”
“It's your selfishness talking”
“It's your karma”
Completely ignoring and telling them to sack up their emotions and go for a walk is completely insensitive.
Thinking up that a human being can't feel what they have just told you because it hasn’t happened to you doesn’t justify your dismissal.
Tone down with the motivational talks
Chances are that the person is already self-criticizing over themselves for feeling empty, or guilty of the feelings that they go through with.
Pushing their buttons and telling them to do that and do this spontaneously might not be such a good method to get them to feel lively.
Your intentions may be good but it could have an inverse effect on them, they would just feel all the more guilty of not being able to do something that their loved ones want them to do.
“You have everything”
Count your blessings at least you have a roof over your head, at least you aren’t broke, at least you have much more than that guy down the street.
Even the richest influential people have suffered from depression or mental illness as such. Wealth and privileges don’t matter, the state of your mental health can go downfall at any time.
As mentioned above, you could be questioning the person’s attitude and this is not something that you should say to them because they have already tried getting away from the clutches of depression but to no avail so questioning about their attitude will only make them feel more miserable.
“I have gone through the same path”
This sentence may make the person feel good, but chances are what you felt could be totally different, your situations and your state might be completely unlike what that person is going through.
So it might seem like that you are just patronizing them instead of giving them a boost.
Choose your words carefully and kindly.
If talking to plants kindly can make them grow, imagine what effect it would have on humans.