• Srijita Pathak

How to tell someone they have hurt you?

How do you tell someone, they have hurt you?

Most often we refrain from expressing what we feel, solely because of the fear of ruining our communal relationships. This ends up hurting us and leaves us with sour feelings.

One should always know when to ‘pull the plug’ in every situation. We need to learn that sometimes holding back is not an option and you have to let go!

Most often if you are hurt by someone close to, the fear of hurting them back prevents you from expressing your feelings.

Love shouldn't make you weaker
The true nature of love

‘nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent’

What can you do to speak your mind?

1. Choose your words wisely

Remember that you are trading on very thin ice when you talk to someone about your feelings being hurt by their actions or words. One miscommunication and it can result in several repercussions and in order to preclude those you have to choose what you say with deliberation.

2. Be prepared for all sorts of outcomes

When you attempt to severe your ties with someone who has been close to you for a significant spell of time, it is not going to be a cakewalk. When you take the decision of wanting to take someone out of your life, there can be a lot of difficulties in doing so. You have to be careful and be ready for anything that comes your way, since that will be beneficial for you in the long run.

The momentary pain in worth the gain
The feeling of tearing apart

3. Write it down!

Penning down your thoughts and feelings helps in the process of catharsis (emotional unburdening). It helps in alleviating the bottle neck situation which forms due to the pent-up emotions. You don’t always have to send your letters to the one it is intended for, but merely writing it down helps!

Also read: https://www.phrazis.com/post/instant-ways-to-show-an-exit-door-to-social-anxiety-disorder-s-a-d

I can shake off everything as I write, my sorrows disappear and my courage is reborn.’ – Anne Frank
4. Use ‘I’ feel statements more

self motivation helps!
tell this to yourself!

Keep the conversation personal and focus on yourself first, pay attention to your needs. If someone has hurt you consistently, the best option always is to eliminate them from your lives in order to build a healthy lifestyle. The more you think from an objective level, the more fruitful it will be for your own peace of mind.

5. Be specific

When talking about your emotions and the irritation you feel due to someone’s hurtful behavior, beating around the bush is usually not appreciated and considered casual. It takes away the pertinence of the matter. Be clear in your head about what you want to do and direct your attention at. Procrastination often derails the process of cutting ties with someone.

6. Create physical distance

Minimize the contact with the person who has hurt you and tether any sort of communication channel. The phrase ‘out of sight, out of mind’, rightfully describes the process of eliminating any form of negative influence from your life.

‘Cutting people from your life doesn’t necessarily mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself’

7. Learn to accept the reality

Accepting reduces the agony of separation, it helps in understanding the reality and brevity of the situation. It also includes accepting the fact that the other person might never apologize or repent for their actions.

8. Stay occupied

‘An idle man’s mind is a devil’s workshop’

The more you stay occupied, the more it helps you stay distracted and helps you focus upon the positive aspects of life. It helps you divert your mind to the rather healthy and fruitful activities.

you will never understand your own importance unless someone hurts you’

9.Engage in self care

Letting go is the first step
let it go!