How to resolve internal conflicts that are leading to poor personality traits?

Updated: Jul 24, 2020


We face internal conflicts knowingly or unknowingly. From just choosing what we want for breakfast to opting to go back to your ex, our inner consciousness debates among itself whether to or not to. It could be as simple as a flower or complex as quantum physics.

Thinking is important

The human mind is simply fascinating, it’s a complex array of consciousness, imagination, perception, thinking, judgment, and abstracts such as emotion.

We are run over by multiple emotions or feelings at once for a particular situation. Our mind is what makes us capable and evolve in our given lifespan.

You can’t exactly avoid conflicts in your mind. It is like a shadow, following you until you find brightness. Until you find the ‘idea bulb’ it stays with you.

According to the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, our mind has three structures.

The id, the superego and the ego.

Sigmund Freud
Sigmund Freud

The id is the most unsophisticated, uncomplicated part of the mind structure. This part of you does not care about morality or value. It is a desire that, come what may, you need it, you want it. It is like a wild child that never can be tamed.

A baby crying because its toy broke will not understand that it was his/her fault that the toy broke. Or that the parents are busy or sleeping. He/she will only think the toy has broken it needs it to be fixed come what may.

Immediate satisfaction is what id requires.

The ego is a more developed attitude. It takes into account the surroundings and situations. It is semi-conscious and semi-unconscious. It understands and drives on the reality principle.

The baby now a child is able to understand that it was his/her fault that it broke and should ask his/her parents when they get off work. At the same time, they would be thinking bawling and crying out loud for the broken toy would make his/her parents rush for help. It’s basically a decision-maker on what you actually want to do.

Sigmund Freud believed that the one with a strong ego will have a healthy personality.

Ego is the neck that decides where to turn.

Lastly, the superego, it is the ultimate moral compass. Superego is the drive for your morality, values, social concerns, etc.

This structure helps you to see that it's wrong. The child knows that bawling would be wrong and that managing the toys should be his responsibility, is right. In a case where the id sometimes overrides the superego, later on, the child would feel guilt or shame. Superego tells us how we are supposed to act/behave in the situation.

If the structure ever goes haywire, we could be torn between what we want to do regardless of how we ought to behave. If the conflicts are not solved and the structures are not working together appropriately it could lead to mental illness.

Thus internal conflicts could lead to imbalances and cause poor personality traits. Basically our poor choices are a reason for that.

How do you approach the problem or resolve the conflicts?

Division of mind structure
Division of mind structure

Write it down, write your views upon the matter that you are having a conflict with. Put it in a table of pros and cons. There’s a reason that we think a lot while showering. We are absolute peace there, we can do anything, we could shout, laugh. You could do anything. Your mind is at rest so you can think actively on how to draw up a solution.

Keep calm always

Understand that you need to calm down the situation more clearly and make a fair decision. Overreacting could turn a blind eye to rationalized decisions.

Take the all famous 5-minute rule, analyze the situation, draw up solutions, and see the consequences for both or multiple solutions that you get. If the consequence doesn’t matter in 5 years you could very well go with it. You could tolerate those 5 minutes of consequence if it doesn’t matter for the next 5 years.

Acknowledge that you could choose wrong decisions and be aware of your capabilities because nobody knows your mind as you do. While making a decision, tap into your mind, do you really need the after parts of your decision. Be it a product, a person, a position. Do you actually need it? Introspect and possibilities would be crystal clear to you.


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