8 great tips to communicate effectively in any Relationship
Humans have been gifted with the biggest gift of the ability to communicate. We love to communicate with people because it makes us happy. We all have a strong need for connectivity and belonging. This is why positive communication increases our subjective well-being.
“It is the encounters with people that make life worth living.” Guy de Maupassant
As important as communication is to us, there are a lot of factors that act upon in communication between people or groups and create confusion and misunderstandings.
Following are 8 fascinating tips to communicate in a relationship:
8. Being present
Being a passive listener is the worst thing you can do in a conversation. Daydreaming or thinking of something else (even something as simple as your list of groceries) while another person is speaking is not only rude but also makes the other person feel invalid and unimportant.
You should actively listen to what the other person is speaking so they don’t feel like you are ignoring them.
7. No judgement
Judging the other person is never a good choice. Even if you do not agree with the other person, you should try and listen to their point of view first and then analyse or criticize.
Try to communicate your observations without labelling or interpreting them. Suppose you are on a date and your date is late, instead of evaluating them and interpreting them, wait for them and let them explain as to why they were late.
6. The power of expression
You need to understand and express your needs. In doing so, you give your partner the chance to decide whether they can and want to meet them. You can, for example, tell your partner that you would like to be treated with considerable care and see if your partner can or will do it.
You need to make your requests clear. Tell them as to why a certain thing is important to you. Suppose you have a pollen allergy and your partner gets you lots of bouquets for your anniversary, it’s a very good gesture on their part but since you have not informed them about your allergy, they might think you don’t appreciate the gesture.
We exaggerate the negative consequences. We look for information to feed our story and once you have decided that your partner is unfaithful, you are likely to see evidence in every corner.
You have finally agreed to meet again in a few months’ time, but then your partner tells you that it is actually not a good time. Therefore you decide that if he is not willing to make it work on the decided date, you do not want to catch up with him this year at all.
4. Knowing your communication style
You need to realize that not everyone has the same communication preferences. Some people like to talk, some prefer to touch and others are more visual or respond better to gift giving than an outward discussion of feelings. You probably know which communication style you and your partner prefer before you work on effective communication.
3. Being honest
Saying what you mean, and making your feelings and your needs clear has to be the most effective way to resolve conflicts. Retreating from conflict seems deceptively safe and comfortable, but it’s no substitute for trust in a relationship and it will never help you learn how to communicate better.
Walking away from an argument is a temporary way to deal with an ongoing communication issue and should only be done to achieve a brief cooling-down period. When you disagree with your partner, you must be able to trust that what you say will be heard and respected, and so does your partner.
2. Let it go
There’s absolutely nothing either of you can do about the past right now, so let it go.
Assess the present situation and identify what you can do at this moment. Pause and remember why you’re here, and remember that your goal, the outcome that you value, is to strengthen your relationship, build intimacy and learn how to communicate better.