6 significant ways to remove toxic friends from your life
Updated: Aug 9, 2020
Friendship has always been one of the most important relationships in an individual’s life. Friends are considered to be an extension of one’s family, they understand and prioritize. They help cope with various difficult situations in life and act as pillars of strength. The problem arises when their involvement becomes ostentatious.
This kind of behavior gives rise to toxicity in the relationships and makes the ‘friendship’ merely one way and materialistic.
What do you need to do in order to remove toxic friends from your life?
1. Don't be sentimental
Every friendship, no matter how toxic it is, has its good moments. Of-course you have memories of fun times, and laughter, but don't romanticize your past, as tempting as it might be. If you can learn to leave the good times in the past, and take them for what they are (the silver lining to the dark cloud), you can walk away.
Don't be sentimental about those who don't deserve it. Save your fond nostalgia for people who enrich your life, and work towards building memories with them rather than dwelling on meaningless ones.
‘You cannot start a new book unless you close the last one.”
2. Be honest
Be honest with yourself, and with your friend. Don't phase someone out. It also makes you just as toxic as them. Communication is key in every relationship, but an overbearing friend can imbibe negativity in your life.
For the friends you talk to and see regularly and intimately, it's important to communicate your desire to end the friendship. That way they know your agenda and won't pursue you, or be hurt by you ignoring them suddenly.
If you are being ill-treated, you should start removing these people from your life, voluntarily.
3. DELETE, DELETE, DELETE
I'm a big proponent of actually deleting people from your life when you decide you want to delete them from your life. Any sort of lingering social media presence is only going to serve as temptation to stalk, which is only going to lead to you feeling bad which negates the purpose of divorcing from your toxic friend in the first place, which is to make you feel good.
Delete and eliminate any sort of their toxic presence in your life.
4. Let go
Find new friends, or invest more time in healthy, existing friendships. Feeling alone, or like you've lost someone, sets you on a dangerous course to regress into old, bad habits. Surround yourself with love and happiness and you'll be less likely to miss the person who was nasty to you.
This will help in letting go and moving forward with your life, and eliminate the residual negativity.
5. Don't re-engage
If the toxic friend you're trying to cut out, comes sniffing you out, trying to create commotion in your life, don't engage. If another friend comes to you and tells you that your old friend has been bad mouthing about you, ignore it. If you get angry, politely decline to engage with them. A friend whose natural pattern it is to create problems in your life knows how to rope people into their theatre with manipulation. Be clear with your intention to separate yourself from the hustle-bustle. It's important to walk away firmly, and not being tricked into defending yourself when your toxic friend tries to stir up problems.
Ignorance is a habit which can turn to be useful in elimination negativity from our lives.
6. Put yourself first
Chances are, in a toxic friendship, you're used to putting the needs of your friend first, often sacrificing your own happiness and needs. In order to truly cut someone out of your life you need to be prepared to put yourself first, for once.
Think about what YOU need and what will make YOU happy in the long term, and do that without any of the guilt your friendship dynamic normally would have you attaching to serving yourself.
Toxicity is harmful in any sort of relationship and hampers the growth of positivity. It is up to you, how you deal with the presence of toxic people in your life, the best measure being ‘ignorance’ and ‘elimination’.
Everyone deserves to be dealt with the basic respect and importance, do not let anyone manipulate you or take advantage of you.
The above-mentioned ways will give you an idea about how you can remove the toxicity from your life, though such things are subjective.
Do what makes you happy!
Let the world know about your story in the comment section below on how you removed toxic friends from your life!
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